Тhat’s the Talmud

Posted by Библията Тв in Facebook's Pentecostal Theology Group View the Original Post

?hat’s the Talmud

A young man knocks on the door of a great Talmudic scholar.
“Rabbi, I wish to study Talmud.”
“Do you know Aramaic?”
“No.”
“Hebrew?”
“No.”
“Have you ever studied Torah?”
“No, Rabbi, but I graduated from Harvard summa cum laude in philosophy, and received a PhD from Yale. I’d like to round out my education with a bit of Talmud.”
“I doubt that you are ready for Talmud. It is the broadest and deepest of books. If you wish, however, I will examine you in logic, and if you pass the test I will teach you Talmud.”
“Good. I’m well versed in logic.”
“First question. Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
”The burglar with the dirty face.”
“Wrong. The one with the clean face. Examine the logic. The burglar with a dirty face looks at the one with a clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face looks at the burglar with a dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes.”
“Very clever. Another question please.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“We established that. The burglar with the clean face washes.”
“Wrong. Both wash. Examine the logic. The one with a dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face thinks his face is dirty. So the burglar with a clean face washes. When the one with a dirty face sees him washing, however, he realizes his face must be dirty too. Thus both wash.”
“I didn’t think of that. Please ask me another.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“Well, we know both wash.”
“Wrong. Neither washes. Examine the logic. The one with the dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face thinks his face is dirty. But when clean-face sees that dirty-face doesn’t bother to wash, he also doesn’t bother. So neither washes. As you can see, you are not ready for Talmud.”
“Rabbi, please, give me one more test.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“Neither!”
“Wrong. And perhaps now you will see why Harvard and Yale cannot prepare you for Talmud. Tell me, how is it possible that two men come down the same chimney, and one emerges with a clean face, while the other has a dirty face?”
“But you’ve just given me four contradictory answers to the same question! That’s impossible!”
“No, my son, that’s the Talmud.”

4 Comments

  • Reply June 17, 2017

    Varnel Watson

    A proper #sabbath topic for the day Tom Steele

  • Reply June 17, 2017

    Tom Steele

    Well, at least the Jews only have 4 contradicting answers to the same question. The 40,000+ Christian Denominations will give you over 40,000 different answers to the same question. I guess that would mean that looking at the Jewish roots of Christianity still greatly increases your chances of finding the truth.

  • Reply June 18, 2017

    Aberdeen Chan

    The Bible has a direct instruction to the Jews, in fact to all of us about the salvation which God had prepared for us.

    ‘Whatever I command you, be careful to do it. You shall not add to it or take away from it.’ – Deuteronomy 12:32

    The modern Judaism has stopped performing blood sacrifice or burning offering, as the Scripture (Old Testament) required. They say repentance is sufficient for their salvation, and blood sacrifice is not related to their salvation. They will perform blood sacrifice only when the third temple of Jerusalem is ready for them. It should actually be done in the tabernacle. Deuteronomy 12:13-14

    They twisted the Scripture in order for them to reject the Messiah who was crucified and mixed with their nationalism (Zionism) into the present Judaism teaching.

    We are all Messianic Gentiles, who knew Jesus Christ is the Messiah who is the ultimate blood sacrifice for all of us.

    • Reply June 18, 2017

      Tom Steele

      That’s a good perspective on the issue. Not sure if you have been in this group very long, but you may enjoy the information I have presented in my blogs. You can find them listed on this page, all link back to FB where they are posted. I have a lot of good nuggets about Judaism and the Jewish origins of Christianity. I like how you said we are all “Messianic Gentiles”. God bless! https://truthignitedministry.wordpress.com/

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Тhat’s the Talmud

Posted by in Facebook's Pentecostal Theology Group View the Original Post

?hat’s the Talmud

A young man knocks on the door of a great Talmudic scholar.
“Rabbi, I wish to study Talmud.”
“Do you know Aramaic?”
“No.”
“Hebrew?”
“No.”
“Have you ever studied Torah?”
“No, Rabbi, but I graduated from Harvard summa cum laude in philosophy, and received a PhD from Yale. I’d like to round out my education with a bit of Talmud.”
“I doubt that you are ready for Talmud. It is the broadest and deepest of books. If you wish, however, I will examine you in logic, and if you pass the test I will teach you Talmud.”
“Good. I’m well versed in logic.”
“First question. Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
”The burglar with the dirty face.”
“Wrong. The one with the clean face. Examine the logic. The burglar with a dirty face looks at the one with a clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face looks at the burglar with a dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes.”
“Very clever. Another question please.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“We established that. The burglar with the clean face washes.”
“Wrong. Both wash. Examine the logic. The one with a dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face thinks his face is dirty. So the burglar with a clean face washes. When the one with a dirty face sees him washing, however, he realizes his face must be dirty too. Thus both wash.”
“I didn’t think of that. Please ask me another.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“Well, we know both wash.”
“Wrong. Neither washes. Examine the logic. The one with the dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face thinks his face is dirty. But when clean-face sees that dirty-face doesn’t bother to wash, he also doesn’t bother. So neither washes. As you can see, you are not ready for Talmud.”
“Rabbi, please, give me one more test.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“Neither!”
“Wrong. And perhaps now you will see why Harvard and Yale cannot prepare you for Talmud. Tell me, how is it possible that two men come down the same chimney, and one emerges with a clean face, while the other has a dirty face?”
“But you’ve just given me four contradictory answers to the same question! That’s impossible!”
“No, my son, that’s the Talmud.”

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