Posted by in Facebook's Pentecostal Theology Group View the Original Post

The following are some signs of emotionally emasculated males:
Men that always concede leadership decisions to their wives
I have been married for almost 32 years and have learned the importance of mutual submission as taught in Ephesians 5:22. I have learned that I am to surrender myself and my life to please my wife and family on most issues. But, in issues related to making life-altering decisions related to our finances, ministry direction, and where we will live (to name a few), I am the primary person God will hold responsible for the direction of my life and family. Thus, I must have the final say on matters of this kind, while being very open to the wisdom and counsel of my spouse.

2. Men that allow their emotions to dictate their actions
Although men, like all humans, are emotional beings, we are taught in James 1:20 that the anger of man does not work out the righteousness of God. Hence, we need to make sure that we never allow ourselves to be led by our emotional state but by principle and divine purpose. Godly men in scripture were sober-minded, men of valor that did not allow fear to stop them from performing the task at hand. Those led by their emotions are more driven by how they feel than by what is right and honorable! Men of principle keep their word even when it hurts (Psalm 15:4).

In Job 38:3 God tells Job to “gird up his loins like a man and I will speak to you.” There is something about acting “manly” that releases God to speak to those He created as men, since biblical manhood involves being stewards of our emotions so that we are led by truth and not by mercurial feelings that can get in the way of biblical obedience.

3. Men that can never make a firm decision without second-guessing themselves
Part of the gift of masculinity is to be able to take risks and make hard leadership decisions based on scripture, wise counsel and prayer. Emotionally emasculated men are afraid of making hard decisions because they don’t have the courage to take risks or to suffer the consequences of their decisions. Thus, they are always paralyzed by excessive analysis and second-guessing themselves. This takes away from their call to lead as a man.

4. Men that are not the spiritual leaders of their homes
Being the spiritual leader is more than being the head of the house in terms of making decisions. It mainly has to do with leading by example: taking the initiative to serve others, to minister, to gather the family together for prayer and Bible study, to attend church, to put God first in the home and personal life.

Men that are led by their wives spiritually are emotionally and spiritually emasculated because they leave their wives spiritually uncovered, unprotected and waging spiritual warfare for their families by themselves! Men should not have to be dragged to church or pressured to pray with their families by their wives; men should be the ones blazing the trail for everyone else to follow!

5. Men that may act tough on the outside but are irresponsible regarding work and family
I have seen many men in church that are muscle-bound and act tough, but are flakey when it comes to being responsible at their jobs, with their families, or in church. Outward appearances and acting ‘big and bad’ is easy. True men are the ones who work very hard to provide for their families materially, emotionally and spiritually. Being responsible in spite of the hard grind of everyday life and conflict is one of the true tests of manhood in this day and age.

6. Men who abuse instead of protect women and children
Emotionally emasculated men are often insecure men who pick on those weaker than themselves to try to prove their manhood! Often this results in men verbally or physically abusing their spouses and children. This is not a sign of true manhood but a sign that they are lacking in true male identity and function.

7. Men who run from relational conflict
Nobody likes to have tough conversations with loved ones, business associates, or family members. Emotionally emasculated men give in to the fear of confrontation, procrastinate, or try to avoid conflict completely, perhaps fearing rejection or fearing more responsibility to make hard decisions that may arise out of such conflict.

True manhood involves meeting problems and conflicts head-on as the need arises and not running from them
In conclusion, there are many more things we could discuss regarding this issue. Part of our countercultural call as Christ-followers is to celebrate masculinity and femininity. Men should be celebrated as men, and ladies as ladies. We don’t need men to act or look like women and vice versa. We also don’t need hybrids of both. May God give us the courage to nurture the next generation to not only be spiritually but emotionally mature and secure in their gender functions and identity.


  • Reply May 16, 2016

    Mary Ellen Nissley

    Not so sure why these have to be masculine traits.
    God never said it.
    And He wants his daughters to be strong, too.

    If these are particularly masculine things, then what do you call it when women allow their emotions to rule them?

    If these are masculine traits, then is it a God-given feminine trait to always be second-guessing oneself, unable to make firm decisions?

    If it is only a masculine trait that makes one a spiritual leader, then how come when my mentally-ill husband left, my faith pulled my children back to faith in God? My daughter says if it weren’t for the miracles God gave in answer to her mother’s prayers, she wouldn’t be a Christian today. And my story is only one of millions. Are you going to say all these mothers who lead their children to God, are acting in a masculine way?

    I also know women who are tough on the outside, while acting irresponsibly regarding work and family. This isn’t necessarily a masculine problem. It’s a character problem of both genders.

    And I also know women who abuse instead of protect the weak. This, again, is not particularly a masculine problem. It’s a character problem. Of course, the stronger the person is, the worse the results. (Women tend to be stronger emotionally… which means they may use their strength to emotionally abuse others.)

    And women also run from relational conflict. There are many ways this is done. One might find refuge in work, or in drink, or in drugs. But women, just like men, also live in this pretend world.

    All these things are simply human failings. They are no more masculine than feminine.

    • Reply May 16, 2016


      Thank you Mary Ellen. My mother and Father had a solid marriage but when you needed spiritual advice you went to mom. That was no disrespect to my Dad……he knew it to. The Bible never makes a big deal about masculinity and femininity……..only Patriarchalists and Complementarians do that.

  • Reply May 16, 2016

    Troy Day

  • Reply May 17, 2016

    Margaret Mowczko

    I completely agree with what you’ve said Mary Ellen Nissley. These are human failings, not masculine failings.
    I have some other problems with the article. For example, nowhere in the New Testament does it state, or indicate, that a husband, and not a wife, is the “primary person God will hold responsible for the direction of my life and family.” (Ananias and Sapphira were each, and individually, held responsible for their actions.)
    And nowhere does it state that a husband, and not a wife, must have the final say on matters on “life-altering decisions.” (The only time the NT mentions husbands and wives making a decision is in 1 Corinthians 7:5, where it says they should make this decision mutually.)
    Whoever wrote the article seems to think he has more importance, more authority and/or a greater responsibility than his wife, but the New Testament says no such thing. Unless there’s something deficient in his wife, the author should share the responsibilities of married life. That is a big part of mutual submission.
    It seems to me that many people have misunderstood the head-body metaphor in Ephesians 5:21-33, which signifies unity, and have constructed a range of rules around this passage with no actual basis.

  • Charles Page
    Reply July 6, 2016

    Charles Page


  • David Lewayne Porter


  • Jon Ray
    Reply July 6, 2016

    Jon Ray

    True manhood involves meeting problems and conflicts head-on as the need arises and not running from them by blaming it on egalitarianism

  • Mary Ellen Nissley
    Reply July 6, 2016

    Mary Ellen Nissley

    somehow, it’s still Eve’s fault.

    • David Lewayne Porter

      Eve’s fault for Eve, yes. Always will be.
      Adam answered for himself and the serpent as well for it’s self.

  • Charles Page
    Reply July 6, 2016

    Charles Page

    early CoG Evangel article

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